Sacrifice

Today's car ride back from work was filled with lots of thinking.

我覺得我好像在虐待自己. 有何必這樣做嗎? 為什麼事情老實要搞得這麼複雜? 是我自己搞的嗎?

好想逃避. 但, 我能逃到哪裡去呢? 不管我到哪裡去 (台灣或美國), 還是有些過去的事要面臨. 但每次去面對好像只會把它弄得更複雜.

好頭痛ㄛ~

I wish I could just let go and not care anymore and just walk away. 但我不是這種人. 我就是要知道. Would I rather know something and get hurt knowing or not know it at all? But there's always the risk of me finding out later and getting hurt still. So I guess the results are still the same.

每次都覺得我好想在犧牲自己. Sacrifice myself so that others can be happy. 說到犧牲, 就會讓我看我桌上貼的quotes:

"Sacrifice is a part of life. It's supposed to be. It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to."

"Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really using it. You're just passing it on to someone else."

- The Five People You Meet in Heaven

這就是我的命, 沒辦法改變的. 只能勇敢的去過. 我心甘情願地犧牲自己, 把我的快樂交給別人. 自己做的決定就要自己負責. 我已經做了這個決定, 就得接受the consequences.

不用快樂, 但還是要好好地過生活. 加油, 本珺, 你一定可以的.

But that wasn't all that was on my mind today...